a prayer

to the greater power above:
give me strength... and bring me happiness...

~annalisa

oh boze...

hmmmmm what could i write about?

my two interviews in nyc in the next two weeks?
no...
how i almost went to jail for 30 days because i missed my jury duty day?
nah....
how i just got the most beautiful purse in the WORLD for my birthday/christmas?
no no no....


what it is i will talk about today is the fact that for the first time in my lifetime, i saw my grandmother in pants. PANTS.
now, babcia grew up in the 1930's/40's when it still wasn't totally acceptable to wear pants. i mean, in the states women were just starting to (rosie the riveter anyone?) but in europe, women were still basically expected to wear dresses and skirts. anyhow, this thought never left my babcia's head, and she has NEVER worn pants.
lo and behold, i came home this morning from the bank to quite a shock when MY BABCIA was wearing pants. pants. PANTS. i nearly fell down. no really... pants. babcia. what?

needless to say, she now has one pair of brand new pants to wear in the winter time. she also insists on wearing pantyhose underneath the pants. but whatever, the fact is babcia is wearing pants.

the end.

~annalisa

yes Yes YES!

hey there. i went away. yes, i went to philadelphia. had a lovely old time. lots of deliciousness (sam's AND the pub both being frequented twice), lots of quality melcclurmeader time. and i loved every last minute of it (with the exception of the trivia guy not showing up. wtf).

but this is not what this entry is about.

no no no.

i very rarely get excited about cd debuts. basically, i count down for a few artists, and that's that. but it NEVER happens that i count down two cd's on the same day... and today, my friends, is the day. no no, not 50 cent and kanye (although stronger is really my new jam). today is the debut of both james blunt and kt tunstall's sophomore albums. omg omg omg, i can't wait. i've listened to each once (while being distracted doing other stuff) and i'm just so excited. yes yes yes.

i need to go now. i am debating on bangs... like BANG BANG bangs. i feel like this could be glorious... or disastrous... time shall tell.


~annalisa

the past is now another land far beyond my reach.

tomorrow i venture to philadelphia again. everytime i go back, it lessens the pain of not being there for grad school. when i was there in april, i felt as if i never left. but at the same time, i saw for the very first time that life went on without me. it should be an interesting visit. no one is left. it used to be visiting a whole bunch of people, and now it is down to a few. while i am glad to go back and visit the kids, it makes me sad because (as i have said in previous blogs) i can't go back into the past and live the life i used to have. there will never be that chemistry of living in philadelphia and going about my daily business there. i thank everyday for the force that drove me to go to school in philadelphia as i will have a lifetime of memories. and yes, they were the happiest times of my life. but last time i was there, i left my heart in philadelphia. this time, i am going to get it back, and take it with me.

~annalisa

it's never really over.

music is an absolutely wonderful thing. it can help you through the best of times, the worst of times, the dullest of times, the busiest of times... music makes everyday things better like driving, working out, the movies... i mean, what is a movie without a brilliant movie soundtrack? it is absolutely amazing when you feel a connection with the artist's lyrics.... when you feel like you can relate to every single word and note being sung.

music is really what is getting me through the past couple weeks. i have been going through a confusing point in my life, one similar to the last time i graduated. i mean, seriously, who doesn't have an identity crisis when he/she graduates? you are so unsure of your life, when and where to take the next step. am i making the right choice? am i going too fast? what is it that i want? my mind has recently been full of questions that have no easy answers. but once i turn on some music, i seem to escape from my complicated life. and for that small amount of time, i don't have to think about anything. i can focus in on the words and the notes, and just be somewhere else. it is not easy these days for me to escape my house, but if i put some headphones on, and sit outside, i calm down and feel okay. today, while i sit out in my garage on a night that no longer is summer, but rather the start of fall, i escape again, not having to worry about tomorrow, three months from now or whatever. that i am okay for just a moment. and for now, okay is good enough for me.


Three months and I'm still sober
Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers
But I know it's never really over


~annalisa

bitter

i really should rename this blog "ridiculous reasons on why life is out to get me."
yet another wonderful occurence today. i was getting my normal venti unsweetened passion ice tea from starbucks, and i asked for an application. the way i figure it is if i have to stay in this god forsaken place known as buffalo, i might as well be paid to do so. so when i asked the guy barista for an application, he says:
are you over 18?
umm. yes.
oh, just checking because you have a young face.
ummm. yeh, i would consider myself a lot over 18.
how old are you?
23...
oh you are still so young.
yeh, but im certainly not 18.

instead, i really wanted to be like what the fuck, you are probably a year older than me, why the fuck are you giving me the 'ohhhhh im so olddddddd' reaction. so i just tee heed, and exited with my application and passion tea.

seriously, why doesn't someone ask how far along in my pregnancy i am, and i will be all set.

~annalisa

shoot me in the face

oh edgrr, i feel the same exact way...
honestly, lets stick one more jab into my chubby little thigh...
i went to the doctor yesterday for a regular checkup. i fondly note her philosophy as being a 'tough love' doctor. for example, when i asked her about gastric bypass surgery, she told me to stop being ridiculous and get on a treadmill. yeh, thanks. so at the checkup yesterday, she asked me what i was doing with my life.
ummmmm nothing.
where are you living?
with my parents.
why aren't you on your own?
ummmm.... i can't afford it? it's not like i ADORE/have a choice living at home...
it's unhealthy to be living with your parents at 23...
um... ok... silence
are you dating?
currently, no.
why not?
ummm.... i don't know. i didn't have time i guess.
well i think it would be good for you to be dating.

ummmmmmm. seriously... MY DOCTOR even rubs it in...
oh life, thank you for being so so cruel.

also, i'd like to thank steve jobs for not coming out with the new iPods A FREAKING WEEK AGO. ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh why why why. could have saved me just A FREAKING TAD of money... but then again, it just goes along with the theme of my life now.

~annalisa