the power of goodbye

i have been incredibly fortunate to find amazing friends both at home and at school. when i was at school, i sort of lost touch with some of these friends, but this past year that i have been home has been a time to sort of catch up on lost time. with the summer coming to a close and the possibility of me moving away in the next couple months, i have started the sort of 'going away' mentality where i never know if one of these weekends will be the last i get to spend with my friends from home. it didnt really hit me until this past weekend when i was driving with z, and she starting to get upset because she thought this was the last time i would be seeing her. i reassured her that it DEFIANTLY was not the last time as a. i don't have a job as of yet, and b. i would never leave without saying goodbye. then she made me promise to keep in touch and visit because she was going to have a hard time when i left. i shut the car door, and just kinda sat in my car for a couple minutes thinking about how sad i am going to be when i leave. if you asked me one year ago, i would have traded anything to get the fuck out of this place and leave for new york city. no sadness, no hesitation. but leaving now will be bittersweet: i will be fulfilling my dream, but am also going to be so sad to leave these amazing people behind. and i say time and time again: i was home this year for a reason. it's just now that i'm starting to figure them out...

~annalisa